


Below Freezing

by Ya_Boi_Hal



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Brotherly Love, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Gen, Panic Attacks, bad feelings?, bad handling of mental health by family members?, i gave tsooks a happy ending kind of because we both need one, then this is the disjointed vent fic for you!
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-08
Updated: 2017-04-08
Packaged: 2018-10-16 06:14:24
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 908
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10565310
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ya_Boi_Hal/pseuds/Ya_Boi_Hal
Summary: Yeet! Here with dat dere shit! Time to vent all my bad feelings past my usual bed time, because that is a Good Ideal. PSA th, dont hold people's faces and make them loook at you and demand they calm down when they have panic attacks/It's implied mom tskishima does that so,,,,,ALSO NO PROOFREADING. I DIE LIKE MEN. TIED MEN. GOD I SHOULD BE ASLEEp.





	

**Author's Note:**

> Yeet! Here with dat dere shit! Time to vent all my bad feelings past my usual bed time, because that is a Good Ideal. PSA th, dont hold people's faces and make them loook at you and demand they calm down when they have panic attacks/ 
> 
> It's implied mom tskishima does that so,,,,,
> 
> ALSO NO PROOFREADING. I DIE LIKE MEN. TIED MEN. GOD I SHOULD BE ASLEEp.

He’s cold. It isn’t an uncommon feeing. Shivers run through his body and if I wasn’t for the thermostat reading 24 Celsius (about 76 degrees in Fahrenheit his mind supplied) 

He would could have blamed his chill on the weather. He pulled his knit sweater closer to his body and turned back to his book. He wasn’t particularly interested in the topic, but he would take anything over the overflowing thoughts swirling in his head. With each word he greedily consumed from the pages, he slowly found himself nothing but a sponge, absorbing everything the book threw at him. 

But like every good book, he found himself at the last page, the last words, the last moment of peace. He put down the book with a frustrated click of his tongue, scrambling around his room to find something else, anything else, oh god please anything—

And the cold seeps back in, crawling up his arms and into his chest. 

It drained energy he didn’t know he had left, make him stagger and sit on his bed. His hands ached and shook as the cold arched into his limbs. He should be used to it by now. There really was no escape from the spiraling static in his mind and the icicles stabbing him from all angles despite any of his attempts to melt whatever had caused it. It was futile, he had learned, the more often he was frozen. A knock on his door. He couldn’t move to answer it. They would eventually leave. 

“Kei dear? Dinner is ready.” His mom. He opened his mouth to decline but he couldn’t open his mouth, the bones of his jaw feeling wired together. A couple more knocks. “Kei? Honey? Are you alright?” 

The door opened and he could see his mother’s feet come into his line of sight. She placed a hand on his shoulder, calling his name but he felt rigid and stiff, the static growing louder until he could no longer hear her. He didnt want her to touch him.

His hands tremored with every breath and the edged of his vision grew black. He was such a pathetic, useless idiot. Idiot. Idiot. Idiot. Something soft touched his face. A hand. She was about to grab his face to make him look at her. He didnt want to. He flinched back. He was going to be held still, they would hold his face still and make him look at them. No no god no, He was being good. He would control it, repress it. Anything but that. The hand retreated and he felt tension leave his body. He inhaled deeply, holding a breath in. He was hyperventilating. He needed to stop. A voice cut through the static, hissing something at his mother that made her leave.

“You’re safe. It’s okay. It’s just me and you. I got you Kei.” His mother would never say that. “You are allowed to do this. It’s normal, and you’re allowed to okay?” A sob burst out of his body, surprising him and the other person. A soft hand raked through his hair. His brother. 

Another sob. Another and another. Why was he even crying? Arms tentatively wrapped around him, as if waiting for him to push them away. He leaned into his brother, and pushed his glasses up his face so he could press his face into the crevice of his brother’s neck. Akiteru rocked him, the static making pain pulse through his head, searing everything inside of him. 

“I’m going to move back, you know. I’m taking online classes now and I’m bying a house near the school. You could live with me and we could plaster star chats all over the living room and have one of those cheap coffee makers and everything. God, I am so sorry for everything. For lying and leaving you and not making things right when it happened.  
I’m a coward. I’m so sorry Kei.”

He clung tighter, unable to respond. 

“You’re breathing better now. That’s good. I’m going to wipe your face now, I‘m not going to hold you down.” He braced himself as his brother wiped tears and snot off his face with a rag. If he wasn’t so numb and exhausted, he would feel pathetic. He only flinched twice during the entire cleaning which was a hollow victory. 

“I love you.” His brother blurted out, ears of his own visible. Kei weakly nodded back and held up a two with shaking hands. Akiteru gave him a watery smile. He didn't talk or look his brother in the eyes, or quit crying, but his brother wasn't making him. He wasn't giving him a sharp scolding with iron fingers digging into his cheeks. His hands weren't being help down and he could twist them together and fidget all he wanted. It was different than what usually happened when the cold feeling seeped in. The frost in his jaw dethawed a little.

"'Love you." Kei grunted, the words making his body feel even more exhausted. "Thanks" 

"I'm here if you ever need me, and i mean it with all my heart okay? I never mind and i swear i will do anything to help you. You're my little brother." The waterworks continued, dripping off Akiteru's cheeks. "I swear."

He tapped his brother's chest with a hum and let his eyes slip shut from exertion, feeling just a little more safe, and a lot less cold.

**Author's Note:**

> Please point out any and all mistakes and feel free to kill me and drag my body through fire, thanks.


End file.
